Why I Hate Tim Couch

As a current UK student and Browns fan, I feel like I can talk about Tim Couch and my burning hatred for him. Every time he comes back for a football or basketball game (which is every other week, as he has nothing to do with his life besides his trips to Dr. James Andrews office) he is met with resounding adulation. This drives me bat shit crazy. I can understand why UK fans like him as he led us to a respectable 7-5 record his junior year (UK's football history since Bear Bryant left is absolutely pathetic, so 7-5 is a big deal here). But looking back at his college career it was not anything special. He put up huge numbers in a Hal Mumme's spread offense that is generated to put up numbers like Texas Tech and Hawaii of today do. Tim Couch was more or less a glorified Timmy Chang or Cliff Kingsburry. But, the fact that UK crowds give him nearly as big of admiration as they do Ashley Judd is plain ludicrous.

The collection of minds working for the Browns in 1999 make Matt Millen seem competent by comparison. Carmen Policy, Dwight Clark and Chris Palmer determined that Couch would be the best choice to build our expansion franchise around. I guess they missed the glaring holes that Couch just ran a dink and dunk offense in college, didn't have the arm strength to make NFL Quarterback throws, and obviously was a mental case. So I guess I cant blame Couch for being picked by a front office that must have taken too many trips to Carmen Policys northern California vineyard.

Side note: There was a report on News Channel 5 right before the draft with Chris Palmer. Palmer talked about how he was tinkering with Couch's throwing motion to get more RPM's on his ball. This was the first time i began to question whether he would be able to be a competent QB.

Im moving forward into the reasons I truly hate Tim Couch...

1. Struggled to beat out Cade McNown to fornicate with Heather Kozar

2. Constantly got injured. Probably has set the record for most arm strains on one human being.

3. QB rating hovered in the mid-70s

4. Considered a God at UK

5. HE CRIED